Self-Care: A Love/Hate Relationship
If you've read my blog before, you know that I hate the self-care movement. It is largely, in my opinion, an over-used trope trotted out to express the importance of making it to the next day in one piece, at best, and at worst, an excuse for selfish behavior. People say "self-care is important" as if that shouldn't be a give-in. Marketers and businesses pounce on it to sell books and products created to "make your life better."
That type of self-care is nonsense, if you ask me. That's not really what it should be about. Let me explain... (And just so I don't go rambling on, every example of self-care I cite below can be found here.)
Research backs up plenty of "self-care" methods. Exercising has many benefits, including mood and energy improvements. Reading has benefits beyond the obvious, including stress reduction and memory improvement. Journaling is about more than just writing words on a page; it can improve comprehension and emotional intelligence. Deep breathing rituals aren't just for your weird yoga aunt; they can reduce blood pressure and improve sleep. Aromatherapy has proven benefits ranging from mood and stress regulation to ailment relief. Talking to strangers can also be beneficial (but so can alone time). Naps can increase alertness and energy levels.
The point is, plenty of self-care tips and even some of the resulting books and podcasts are well-meaning. It's really great that there are resources out there for people who really want to make it a point to invest in themselves and improve their lives.
However, that's the point: improvement. Investing in oneself is incredibly important because it enables you to better care for others. It can make you better at your job. It can give you the energy to volunteer and assist your friends. It can relieve the intimidation that might prevent you from engaging in conversations with strangers (or even friends and family members).
Self-care should NOT be a trope, a quip that is used to justify what might actually be poor behavior or a delay of initiative. Great, take a bath and relax. That IS self-care. Avoiding responsibility and commitments is NOT self-care. Sure, buy that self-help book that will help you explore how you can use your time better. That IS self-care. Spending money for the sake of spending money (or writing a self-care book for the sake of selling books) is NOT self-care. Awesome, eat a tasty dinner. That IS self-care. Soaking yourself in self-care tactics to avoid actual work and self-awareness that might address the deeper issue is NOT self-care. There are a plethora of people who need help, are finding help and are making genuine improvements in their lives. Kudos to the brave souls who face a sometimes cruel world. If anything, parading around a tired idea of "self-care" to rationalize "self-indulgence" is insulting to those people who are making an honest effort.
I'm reminded of this because lately, I've actually been making an effort to take care of myself. Believe me, it's not typical to the past several years in my life. I'm seeing the immediate benefits. I'm actually putting into practice some of the suggestions that are made in articles published around New Year's that usually have "How To Make This Year Your Best Year" in the title (or something to that effect). The ideas themselves, so long as they're research-backed, can actually provoke some very significant improvements. They have in my life so far, especially the simplest stuff like getting sleep and exercising.
In summary, self-care is (and in my opinion, should be) comprised of genuine efforts rooted in genuine ideas on how to get better and feel better. Go ahead, take care of yourself...because it's not just about you. There are others who need you.